7 Signs Your Relationship/Marriage Is Heading For Disaster


:::::::::As Chris and jane approach thier 16th wedding anniversary, I think about what they have learned
together through their own experiences and from other people’s mistakes, both observing
and counselling hundreds of couples going through some problem in their marriage. My
goal here is simply to post warning signs along Marriage Road, so that if you see them on
your marriage journey, you know you need to do something about it or maybe even get
help.
This list is by no means exhaustive but I would rank each of these seven signs very high
on any such list. Ready? Here we go:

1. Crisis in the bedroom department. By far top of the list, a couple’s intimate life acts as
the thermometer of their marriage. When a couple no longer or rarely comes together
physically, they are leaving a wide open door for other problems. To be ‘one’, husband
and wife must keep the bedroom temperature high. The keywords are frequency,
selflessness, and quality.

2. You’re not each other’s best friend. Husband and wife must be able to talk to each
other just about anything. No secrets. A best friend is someone you can confide in, is not
judgmental, and whose company you enjoy. You laugh together. You know everything
about each other. Unfortunately, some couples hold themselves back from each other and
don’t involve one another in their life. The result? Strangers sharing the same house.

3. Your best friend is another woman (man). As a married person, if you keep a close
friend of the opposite sex other than your spouse, you’re asking for trouble. Not only
trouble in the sense that you will be tempted but also because you will provoke your
spouse’s jealousy. Want a friend? Read number two again.

4. Problems linger unresolved. There’s a golden rule that my wife and I set for ourselves
early in our marriage: We will not sleep until we have talked AND RESOLVED any issues
between us. A problem unresolved is a problem evolved. It will come back to bite you
later, with a vengeance. Why wait? Nip it in the bud, get it over with.

5. You’ve lost respect for each other. When you no longer care what the other person feels
or thinks, you’re going down a very dangerous road. Call me old-fashioned, but I have
noticed marriages are healthier when the wife lets the husband lead, be the head of the
house, and when the husband cares for his wife more than he cares for himself.

6. You’re putting yourself first. What’s the first thing couples do when they get a divorce?
Fight over who is going to keep what. In other words, see how they can get as much as
possible from the other. If that is what happens in a divorce, the opposite must happen in
a marriage. It’s not what you can get from your spouse, but what you can give him/her. If
you normally think about pleasing yourself first, you are not in a marriage relationship.

7. You don’t want to listen. Experts say that effective communication is 80% listening and
20% speaking. The reasoning behind it is that we can’t really say anything meaningful
until we have listened to and understood the other person. In no other situation is this
truer than in marriage. You can’t have a relationship without communication. And you
can’t have proper communication without listening – a lot. Somehow I think God had that
in mind when He gave us two ears but only one mouth.
Make no mistake, marriage is a difficult thing. But it is only difficult because people are
difficult. If you try to fix the other person, you’ll make it worse. You can only change
yourself, not others.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/586715

1 comment:

  1. newly married couples build a solid foundation for a successful and Godly marriage!Happy Marriage Life

    ReplyDelete

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